Is Santa Claus Real

Elf: “Heyya, Santa. There's a little boy who wants to see you tonight.”
Santa the Jerk: “Me? Santa Claus? Ho, ho, ho, well, no way in hell I'm gonna do that. You know the rules. Santa Claus can't be seen by anybody. It's, uh, religion.”
Another elf: “I hear he's got a telescope!”
Another elf: “Yea, I hear he's gonna find you!”
Another elf: “Me too, me too, Santa. I hear he's gonna find you!”
Santa the Jerk: “What the heck are you? You don't even sound like anything. Oh well, I guess I gotta mmm, up up my game!“

Yo, ho ho ho,
can ya feel me bro (yo)
I'mma bouta flow (go)
I'mma be hide, up high, no site, all night, 
in ma slide ride, all right, 
and ya neva gonna even see (fool)
can't perceive me (fool)
so don't even try when I up and fly

I'm the S. Claus
I'm the S. Claus

Boy: Oh no, not so,
‘cause im a little boy, who wanna bigga toy
I gotta big ol’ telescope NASA brand
I could spot a lunar land.
Brown streak, red dot? I'mma getchu fat man

I'mma get you Krissi (can you feel)
I'mma tell my daddy (yes he real)

So show me your face or I make you pay.
I hate to send your address to the NSA!

Santa the Jerk: No! You don't even know.
You don't understand the Santa man.
So, shh, listen to the big red boss,
cause it aint no toss,
though my sleigh got NAS,
I defy all laws,
cause I freeze all debris when I make time pause (pause)!
You even know the cause? No.
You be like “that some Interstellar sh** you doin’ Santa Claus”

Wait, I ain't even done.

I'm establishment!
I'm the Kris Kri!
When you learn about Jesus, you learn about me!
So shut it like yo chimney that I'm never gonna pass
before I stick a coal up your nativity’s