Don't Stick Your Finger In Your Nose

Don't stick your finger in your nose,
Cause your nose knows it's not the place it goes.
You can sniffle. You can sneeze.
But I'm asking you, please -
Don't stick your finger in your nose.

Oh, don't stick your finger in your nose,
Cause your nose knows it's not the place it goes.
You can sniffle. You can sneeze.
But I'm asking you, please -
Don't stick your finger in your nose.

And don't stick your finger in your ear,
Cause then your ear will find it hard to hear.
You can thump it you can tug it,
But please don't plug it.
Don't stick your finger in your ear.

Just like, don't stick your finger in your nose,
Cause your nose knows it's not the place it goes.
You can sniffle. You can sneeze.
But I'm asking you, please -
Don't stick your finger in your nose.

And don't stick your finger in your eye,
That's not a thing I think you oughta try
You can blink it, you can wink it,
But I don't think it would be wise to stick your finger in your eye.

Just like, don't stick your finger in your nose,
Cause your nose knows it's not the place it goes.
You can sniffle. You can sneeze.
But I'm asking you, please -
Don't stick your finger in your nose.

And don't stick your finger down your throat,
Cause that will just make you start to choke.
And up will come your dinner,
And you'll start to look much thinner.
So don't stick your finger down your throat.

And don't stick your finger in your nose,
Cause your nose knows it's not the place it goes.
You can sniffle. You can sneeze.
But I'm asking you, please -
Don't stick your finger in your nose.

At least, not in front of me.

(Barry Louis Polisar)